Anticipation

By NAN BROWN
As published Jan. 21, 2009

I’m sure you remember how the old Carly Simon song goes – “Anticipation. An-tic-i-pa-a-tion. It’s making me wait. It’s keeping me wai-a-a-ting.” That’s how I feel these days. My better half, Jack, and I have been anticipating snow and have been bitterly disappointed time and time again.

I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been told so far this winter that it’s gonna snow, and all we get is the icy slushy “mixed bag” meteorologists are so fond of saying.

It’s always the same scenario, best exemplified by the storm we were to get on Saturday, Jan. 10. All the local forecasters as late as noon on Friday were saying there was going to be a “significant snowfall” of possibly eight or more inches for our area.

It was supposed to start overnight Friday and by morning we should have an inch or two on the ground. Then, to our delight, it was to snow all day Saturday as well.

Like two little kids waiting for school to be called off due to snow, Jack and I bounced out of bed Saturday morning to press our noses against the window. The streets were white…barely. Nothing was on the ground, and there wasn’t a flake to be found flying.

I flipped on the TV and found some local news. Shortly the weather came on and the forecaster was stammering and stuttering around saying something to the effect of, “Well, we’re in a short lull right now, and we won’t be getting as much snow as we originally anticipated, but once it resumes early this afternoon, we should get about two to four inches.”

Needless to say the lull was longer than anticipated and when the 10-minute snowfall began at 6:30 p.m., it almost immediately changed to sleet and then freezing rain. The snow didn’t even whiten the ground.

This has happened way too many times this year and last. I am so ticked off with weather forecasters right now that I could just scream. If I were them, I would feel guilty taking a paycheck.

What other job is there where you can constantly screw up and still remain employed? I can assure you, there aren’t too many, unless it’s maybe a politician, but even then the voters eventually catch onto them and vote them out of office for their ineptness and/or corruption.

Hey, now here’s a thought. The local television stations could drastically cut their budgets if they would get rid of the weather people. Heck, each station around here has anywhere from three to five meteorologists on staff.

Someone in the newsroom could just take down the forecast off the Weather Channel, hand it over to the news anchor, and he or she could simply read it during the broadcast.

It probably would be more accurate, and the station could save mega bucks. They would save not only on meteorologists’ salaries but also on all those fancy high-tech computer programs, you know like Doppler radar and predictor software. They wouldn’t need them any more.

Better yet, maybe I could be hired by all the stations and do a taped segment of the reading of the forecast to be inserted at the appropriate time in each newscast.

Yeah, that’s the ticket – I could create a weather franchise consisting of me. I would sit before the camera and read the Weather Channel forecast using weather props. I could wear a raincoat or put up an umbrella if its gonna rain, hold a lightning rod if storms are drawing near, wear snowboots if snow is predicted, or don a helmet if hail is in the offing – I’m sure you get my drift.

My weather show would not only provide comic relief, but it would also save the TV stations scads of money.

All kidding aside, a lot of people are seriously angry with the forecasters. A reporter interviewed kids, with sleds and snow disks in hand, who were sorely disappointed, as were their parents and others.

One woman lamented in a newspaper article that she had changed her plans to attend the opening of the Farm Show in Harrisburg that Saturday due to predictions of snowy weather, and at 6 p.m. she was still waiting for snow to start.

The Farm Show is “big doin’s” around here, so I’m sure its opening was hampered in a big way by the wrong forecast.

Let’s face it, the science of forecasting is sheer conjecture on the part of the weather geeks on TV. Oh, and another thing, on the occasions where they say snow will miss us, you can’t help but notice the sheer joy on their faces, because they’re all snow haters. I wish they would all fly south for the winter – who needs ‘em? I’m tired of the anticipation.