Slaves to the TV

By NAN BROWN
As published May 7, 2008

We’re addicted to TV. There, I said it – I admit we have a problem, and they say that’s the first step toward rehabilitation – well, maybe not in our case.

At the beginning of each week I find myself mentally assessing the upcoming television schedule. I have to figure out what we can actually watch and what we will have to tape.

Just when I get it down to a science, the TV schedules change or a writers’ strike occurs. The recent strike completely obliterated our TV viewing habits. All of a sudden 24, The Unit, CSI Miami, Private Practice, Grey’s Anatomy, ER, and other favorite shows were no more. In the case of 24 it didn’t even get started.

Recently CSI Miami, Grey’s Anatomy and ER returned with new episodes, but who knows for how long.

The powers that be in Hollywood, however, threw us a few scraps to get us by in the meantime. Let’s see, there was Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Celebrity Apprentice, and a few stray episodes of Lost and Friday Night Lights which were already “in the can” as they’re fond of saying in Hollywood.

Then Lost went into reruns but now is back with a few new episodes, but Sarah Connor, Celebrity Apprentice and Friday Night Lights are over now. I guess maybe it’s all for the better because we had to tape Apprentice while we watched Lost anyway since they were on at the same time.

As for Saturdays I try to watch original runs of a few Food Network shows including Jamie at Home, Down Home with the Neelys, and Healthy Appetite with Ellie Krieger. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget Iron Chef on Sunday night.

On Tuesday nights we were able to watch the first few episodes of The Biggest Loser unencumbered, but then along came American Idol which relegated Loser to taping status. Now Hell’s Kitchen is in the mix that night, too. Thank goodness Loser just recently ended, so no more taping is necessary now on Tuesdays.

Have you ever watched Hell’s Kitchen? It’s a hoot, that is, if you can understand what’s going on in between the bleeping out of Chef Gordon Ramsay’s foul language. The aspiring chefs that compete on that show seem like a bunch of bumbling idiots, but good old Gordon always seems to whip one of them into shape by the end of the season so he or she can take the helm of a fabulous bistro somewhere.

This year’s prize will be Gordon’s own new restaurant called “London” set to open in Los Angeles.

When this Gordon Ramsay show ends for the year we can take solace in the fact that his other show, Kitchen Nightmares, should soon follow. In that one he travels from one loser restaurant to another trying to breathe new life not only into the eating establishments but into the owners as well. It’s a formidable job, but Gordon’s always up to the challenge.

As for American Idol – Jack and I have been fans for years. I think the only season we ever missed was the first. Yes, I must say, whatever is going on in our world comes to a stop whenever Idol is on - and that is one show that never gets taped.

That brings me to the subject of what happens in our house when we have to tape a show. We don’t have any kind of sophisticated taping devices except for our good old VCR, and for some reason ever since we switched to Direct TV I have not been able to figure out how to tape a show while watching another one. So when we are taping one we have to go upstairs to watch the other show on the bedroom TV.

I haven’t even touched on daytime TV yet. Since I’m here by myself all week, I always have the TV on for noise if nothing else. But who am I trying to kid? I do have shows I watch during the day, too. My favorites are The Waltons at 8 and 9 a.m. on The Hallmark Channel; sometimes The View at 11 a.m. when I’m in the mood to hear those five ladies trash the world; the local news at noon; All My Children at 1 p.m.; and Quick Fix Meals with Robin Miller on the Food Network at 3 p.m.

It is truly amazing if your head isn’t spinning after reading this column. I never realized how crazy our TV viewing habits are until I just now put them into print. It’s no wonder I get confused.

By now you probably think the only thing we ever do is watch TV. Well, that’s not entirely true because we sleep sometimes, too.